Filled with new year resolution, I approached a well known crime writer and asked them if they 
would read my novel, The Art of Survival – http://goo.gl/MfMBUj – to provide me with a publicity quote. Of course she said no, no time. At least she was polite and encouraging about it.
I knew she would refuse. Still I was disappointed. As I reflected on this disappointment, I realised I had fallen prey, once again, to some old scripts.
#Old script 1
If I try hard, I will succeed, ergo, if I don’t succeed, I’m not trying hard enough.
#Old script 2
It’s not about trying harder, it’s about being smarter, ergo, I am not smart.
#Old script 3
If you know what achievement looks like, you will succeed. I know what achievement looks like for me: being traditionally published by a publisher which cares; earning my living through my writing (with some teaching/workshops thrown in); having a novel in the bestseller list; having a novel adapted for TV. Not a lot to ask huh! But I am certain this success is not for me.
There is a myth, coming from #old script 1 & 2 above, that success is there for the taking for everyone. If this were true, then writers who have succeeded (in my terms) would not appear on TV/radio chat shows. They would not be a rarity, an oddity, newsworthy. The ledge of success is narrow and everyone who gets there has needed a leg-up and luck.
I have spent the day working on my third novel, The Art of Breathing, which I intend to indie publish later this year if I don’t find a traditional publisher for it. I cannot tell you how satisfying it is to be writing; shaping the characters, teasing out the plot, creating the world which I want to share with readers. I know this is where I get the most satisfaction and (ergo) where I should focus. And I will, once I’ve booted out those old, unhelpful scripts.
As a writer, what’s the most unhelpful script you are holding onto and what would you like to replace it with?
Scarborough Mysteries 
This reminds me that most writers are like kindred spirits when it comes to self-doubt and insecurities about their work! That, in itself, is a comfort. The devil on my shoulder will often sneer that I’m not smart enough to write stories well. That being said, the same voice may push me to make those stories sharper, more interesting, more unpredictable. Or at least make the attempt!
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Thanks for your thoughts Paul. I do think a modicum of self-doubt and some useful (but compassionate) critical friends can make us better writers. May your 2016 be a creative one!
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Thanks Kate! Yours too! x
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This is a brave post Kate. crippling self doubt it the constant companion of many artists, visual, word or performance. You have my respect. X
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Thanks Helen, I don’t feel very brave. Thanks for your support and wishing you a creative 2016!
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First of all, good for you for even getting up the nerve to ask. I haven’t even asked. Secondly, to answer your question, I’d say the “old script” I’m currently wrestling with is listening to all this advice on the web, contradictory too, and not knowing what to do. We try our best and really, that’s that. I think you’ll have to ask 10 more authors and accept that they might all say no, and then start the list over again, as horrific as that sounds. At least that is what I’ve heard lately. Agggggg! What.To.Do????
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Thanks Lani. I agree we can only do our best and follow our instincts as to what is right for us. What one person might find easy to do in terms of marketing another might find difficult. I think it’s always good/fun to try to do things together. I enjoyed our blog tour…
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Yes! I should check up on everyone and see what they are up to. 😉
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While I realise you are referring to scripts running through a person’s mind, I would like to interpret your question with regards to physical scripts i.e. early or unfinished writing. I have been clearing out multiple drafts of already published work (both traditional and indie) and redrafting/completing other poems/stories with a view to moving on to something new thereafter. New ideas are simmering on the back burner whilst I make way for them.
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Great to hear Judith. I keep writing journals from way back and sometimes I find gems in there, things which I thought nothing of at the time. Plus I like a new year clear out of folders and shelves, to make way for the new. Wishing you a creative 2016!
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